Detectorists Find “Paranormal Paracetamol” in Fossilized Human Waste

A pair of metal detectorists in England have made the rare discovery of a solid silver Roman oddity dating back to the time of Roman Emperor Constantine (306 to 337 AD), remembered for making Christianity the state religion of the Roman Empire. The detectorists have dubbed the artifact a “paranormal paracetamol.” Measuring only about three-quarters of an inch (1.9 cm) long, the Roman silver artifact is shaped like a paracetamol tablet and is believed to have been imbued with supernatural healing properties.

The Portsmouth News reports that the treasure was unearthed by Peter Beasley, an 80-year-old resident of Waterlooville, and his friend Lee McGowan. The pair had been metal detecting near Rowlands Castle, in the East Hampshire district of Hampshire, England. Mr. Beasley said he has “never seen anything like it before,” before explaining to The Portsmouth News that they are calling it the “paranormal paracetamol.”

The pair of metal-detectorists, Lee McGowan (left) and Peter Beasley with items from a previous find. (Malcolm Wells)

The Mind-Boggling and Priceless Discovery of the Paranormal Paracetamol

Finding treasure is something that Beasley does exceptionally well. In 1996 the treasure hunter unearthed a rare collection of Roman coins that were bought by the British Museum for £103,000 ($140,173). Describing his latest artifact find as “extraordinary,” “mind-boggling” and “priceless,” the treasure hunters explained that cleaning it revealed a Chi-Rho symbol spelling out the word Jesus in Greek.

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The Chi Rho is one of the earliest forms of Christogram. The symbol is structured by superimposing the first two letters “chi” and “rho” of the Greek word ΧΡΙΣΤΟΣ so that the vertical stroke of the rho intersects the center of the chi. Furthermore, the silver tablet bears tiny, engraved lilies and daisies, which the metal detectorists think are representative of the Virgin Mary.

Late Roman sarcophagus showing a combined cross and a wreathed chi-rho, a kind of Christogram which is visible on the paranormal paracetamol artifact discovered in Hampshire. (Public domain)

An Ancient Treasure Encased in Feces

Beasley explained that the iconography goes much further than Jesus and Mary. He claims that the so-called paranormal paracetamol also tells the story of the Roman army seeing a miracle “where a cross of light covered the Sun.” The amateur archaeologist expounded with delight speaking to The Portsmouth News, because this was the miracle that birthed Roman Christianity.

In early Roman Christianity even the word Jesus was believed to be a powerful cure for a range of illnesses and ailments. Beasley thinks the silver tablet engraved with the word Jesus might have been “seen by thousands of Roman soldiers before a battle.”

However, the finders have concluded that the silver pill-shaped artifact was most likely “swallowed to cure them of sickness.” This conclusion was drawn due to the fact that the artifact was “jet black” when it was discovered. This oxidization, according to Beasley, was caused because the holy silver artifact “had been preserved in a fossilized coprolite” – i.e. human waste.

The Baptism of Constantine, in Vatican City. The metal detectorists believe that their “paranormal paracetamol dates back to the era of Roman Emperor Constantine, remembered for making Christianity the state religion of the Roman Empire. (Public domain)

Silver, the Cornerstone of Disinfectology

Throughout recorded history, silver was generally offered to, and associated with, female lunar deities, while gold was always associated with male Sun gods (except in Norse cultures where this was reversed). Believed to be charged with powerful healing energies, silver was, and still is, used extensively for a variety of medical purposes.

J. Wesley Alexander’s 2014 paper, History of the Medical Use of Silver, looked at the medical uses of silver before the clinical introduction of antibiotics in the 1940s. The researcher concluded that silver has been used for “at least six millennia, to prevent microbial infections and to treat numerous infections.”

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Today, silver is still added to many bandages and wound dressings, and it can be found in most medical creams. However, its most prevalent modern application is as an antibiotic coating on metallic medical devices. And, unlike mercury and lead, silver exhibits low toxicity in the human body, and therefore minimal risk when ingested. So, it appears Beasley might indeed be right in stating the silver artifact was a “paranormal paracetamol” that a Roman soldier might have eaten to ease a stomach complaint.

Top image: The silver artifact, dubbed a “paranormal paracetamol,” may date back to the reign of Roman Emperor Constantine. Source: Peter Beasley.

By Ashley Cowie